Sunday, October 14, 2012

A Madison Marriage

There is this strange Olympic event called a Madison. It is a grueling cycling event of 200 laps (50 kms). The rules are complicated. It is a relay race with two people and either one of them has to be in the race at all times. They hand over to each other by touching or slingshotting the other person. You gain points by winning sprints that occur at various fixed laps in the race.

Compare that to a tennis match. You are trying to put the ball back in your opponents court.

For most couples, marriage is a tennis match. You try to dominate the other person and make them conform to your idea of the perfect spouse. I want my marriage to be a Madison Marriage where Vandana and I are helping each other reach our goals.

When and where did I get this ambition? One day it struck me that I wanted to enjoy coming home, not come back to snide remarks and cutting silences, regardless of whose fault it was.

Most of us take our work so seriously and spend a lot of time and energy at becoming better. I decided to put in as much effort in being a better spouse. An Effective Spouse.

Most days my marriage does feel like a Madison Marriage. I remind myself it is a journey not a destination.

Did you watch the race from the 2008 Olympics. (Unfortunately the Madison was not part of the the 2012 Olympics.) What I find astonishing is that the champions are a pair whose ages are 43 and 33. An Olympic race of endurance, strength and speed and the winner is 43 years old.

 Age and maturity help in a Madison.


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