Random Thoughts

Sometime back I wrote an post called Accepting Your Wife in Marriage . There was a critical step mentioned in that post - You " accept" a person warts and all. This is difficult. In the next few posts I will discuss why this is so hard. Our brain has many quirks. The more I read about these quirks, the more fascinated I became about these quirks. Many of them make it difficult to "accept" anybody. So let us discuss something fundamental -  Behavior is driven by 1. Genes 2. The Hormonal balances in the womb. (The Indian practice of protecting women who are expecting a baby from stresses, negative experiences are scientifically valid ). This portion of behavior I call innate . 3. Your experiences during critical phases of your brain development. You "learn" what right behavior is. (This is something I discussed at length in  Accepting Your Wife in Marriage .)  This portion of your behavior I call ingrained . 4. Social expectati...

I read a change management book a while back. It said that all changes follow identical phases. How long you spend in each phase may vary, but you will go through all the phases. The phases are inevitable. “Changes” are anything new - a new job, a new house, a new hobby, a new spouse, or a new way of doing things. When you initiated the change you did it because you felt the change would be for the better. Initially there is a honeymoon phase, you see all the nice things about the change. You are excited and happy. After a while you start noticing the drawbacks, the negative aspects of the change. You enter the disillusionment phase. You are upset and angry, you feel cheated. At this point three things can happen. Breakdown. You abandon the change, and go back to the old ways. You try to get another job, another house, abandon your hobby, or divorce your spouse. Trapped. You are unhappy but grit your teeth and go on. You feel trapped, stressed out. You continue in the...

When you make a promise what is your attitude towards keeping the promise? I have experienced / read about three attitudes. I will not keep the promise if it inconveniences me - with no sense of dishonour and glibly tell the promisee "sorry". I call this the "Life owes me a living" attitude I will try my level best (till wet with sweat) and feel dishonoured if I don't live up to my promise. However I have the option of going up to the promisee and if the promisee releases me I can give up honourably. I call this the "Warrior" attitude. (I am a Sun Tzu fan) I will try till my blood runs dry and feel dishonored to even discuss my inability with the promisee . I call this the "Suicidal" attitude. "Life owes me a living" is quite common. "Warrior" is currently my sense of honour. When younger I was at "Life owes me a living" and I have paid a heavy price for that. Many people are not aware of the d...

I have been watching the blogging phenomenon from the sidelines. Decided to dive in. I would like to write about things that my kids would find useful when they grow older. Mainly attitudes, approaches, thoughts - at work and at home.